still, my first love...

It's been almost four years, and still it hunts me. Every time I think that I'm over it, I find myself drowning again on the illusions of the past...and yes, for some time I feel this hope that one day the hands of fate will bring us back together.

I have uttered all the good words in every way that I can to tell people, and most especially to myself, that I have ended it...that what we had was a part of the past, which should remain in the past. Yet when I see myself in the mirror, when I see myself in my dreams, a picture of his smile is still the one that flashes before my very eyes.

Yes, I am sincerely happy for him for he has finally found someone...and maybe she's the one. But how foolish it is, being happy for someone who has found his love while there you are, loving him in silence, loving him with a tear in your heart.

Now that I am with another man, I should learn to leave his memories, our memories, behind and live with what I have right now. But how can cupid play with my heart that just when I thought this was over, he made me realize that it never was...never is...and, perhaps, never would be.